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[17 Jul 2010|10:24pm] |
I met Sal's friend Miranda last week and she gave me a job in her shop. She's been really nice to me. She asked a lot of questions at first but now she doesn't ask as many anymore. I like her, though, she doesn't make me cover up my tattoos. It's a nice place, but there's a couple of weird people who come in. There's this old guy who comes in twice a week and just touches the flowers. There's another guy who comes in and buys these huge bouquets on Fridays, he buys those 'missing you' greeting cars a lot, too.
I'm learning a lot about plants, about the different kind of seeds for flowers and stuff and the different families. Miranda knows all the scientific names but I'm just trying to learn all the common names right now. I like the tobacco flowers best, and we have them in a lot of different colors. Miranda gave me some in a little pot, the red ones. She said they were easy to take care of, and that she's going to give me some irises next. I have to figure out where to keep them all.
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[01 Jul 2010|11:09pm] |
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They planted more flowers in the park.
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[10 May 2010|12:30pm] |
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It was so dark, I went back to my old hide out, couldn't go to Henri's place for the life of me. I didn't think it would come back to me after all that's happened, but I think- it was following me. It's always going to be. No point. No point, not anymore.
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[04 May 2010|04:43pm] |
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Some girl OD'd at one of the bars I was selling at last night. Someone said she was mainlining dolls or something. Really weird. I think I'm gonna stay out of that bar.
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[13 Apr 2010|10:38pm] |
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I took Dave to the park today.
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[03 Apr 2010|07:56pm] |
Walked by my old apartment building today, saw our my old window. The flower box was gone. I guess it got snowed on too much. Plant was still in the window, though. Wish I hadn't left it.
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[01 Apr 2010|10:50pm] |
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I am so high right now.
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[31 Mar 2010|12:25pm] |
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It's nice outside.
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[01 Mar 2010|11:32pm] |
It's so fucking cold, all the time now. Standing on street corners and sulking in alleys means frostbite at best and getting sick at worst, haven't had an infection in a good long time but I have to watch it, or else. But I haven't gone to get my medicine and gotten change back in a long time, either, and I guess I look eighteen now, so nobody wants to run me in anymore. Not for pity, at least. If I get run in now, I get run in for real.
It would almost be a relief Things change. In three months it'll be a year. But every day it's more and more stuff to drown things like hoping for a real year. Nothing tastes good unless it's salt. Doesn't matter, didn't like burgers, anyway. Nails itch, time to drink.
Smoking less, at least.
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[08 Feb 2010|11:39pm] |
And that's the first sentence. Swimming around like a blow-fish in a light-bulb store. Somebody burned down the jungle, flooded it, and built a city rising out of the water that's wet but not- rusting at all. It's weird to feel this good, really happy. Good, like no one ever died or left. It's like every weight and all the clouds is gone. Like somebody saved me.
It's like the whole world is perfect right now. Wrong face
[More pictures of the gray snake, clearer, less clumsily taken.]
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[06 Feb 2010|10:14pm] |
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I miss him.
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[24 Jan 2010|01:53am] |
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Found a pair of shoes on the sidewalk today. There was a little blood on the left one so I didn't get as much money for them as I should have, but I got enough for stuff for the rest of the day and a little bit to put away for later, too. Good day. Not good. Better day. A little.
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[18 Jan 2010|12:42pm] |
The world is on its head a little bit, but Dave was right. It is best with a drug.
[Several clumsily taken pictures of a gray snake, obviously taken with an older camera phone.]
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[05 Jan 2010|01:09am] |
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( Mac )
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[01 Jan 2010|10:14am] |
Sleeping outside is still as fucking cold as I remember, just because I haven't done it in a while doesn't mean I forgot how to do it right. Now that I'm eighteen I don't need to worry as much about getting found out, staying away from nice ladies in pantsuits with a stack of fliers this inch thick of runaways from Trenton. I don't have to go back, not ever. So I cut my teeth again, get rid of the waste - and there's been a lot of waste. Better now to not shoot up- smack's fucking expensive. Valium's not cheap, either, but it lets me sleep. Cut off the fat, cut away the waste, clean out the backpack and make it light again except for those fucking papers- paper is really fucking heavy. Still have the shakes, they haven't gone away since Da since last week.
Better to be back out here, even if it's so cold I feel like I've been chewing cotton all morning. Staying places was a bad idea I need bullets
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[20 Dec 2009|11:32pm] |
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( Mac )
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[12 Dec 2009|11:16pm] |
Saw the sun rise out my window, saw a pitbull running down the street with a man with long black hair and a suit holding its leash. Watered the flower, made my bed, went downtown and did some stuff. Feel really good, not so sick.
We're okay. Right now, we're okay.
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[28 Nov 2009|10:03pm] |
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What helps nausea? Other than pot.
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[05 Nov 2009|09:50pm] |
Sometimes I don't know what to write on this thing, but I guess I should write this. I'm going to be eighteen in a little over a week. I didn't really think I was going to make it.
I guess I did.
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